Body language – beginnings
In the first article of the series I mentioned which body movements or stances can be considered part of the body language. In this continuation, we will take a better look at some basic information for people who study this subtle language people speak on daily basis. But in order to illustrate that, I will list examples that you have, undoubtedly, noticed throughout your long communication with people.
The other day I had a conversation with a friend centering on the kind of impressions you get from people. We discussed postures, involuntary movements of the body and their influence on us. It amazed me, how much she seemed to know about all of it, especially as I knew that she hadn’t studied the topic at all. Somewhere along the way I realized that you don’t need to have special education to be able to read the nuances of the body language people display – you only need a bit of social experience. For this reason, I believe that learning to read body language isn’t a particularly difficult task for anyone. Some information is already there naturally, and learning more will only serve as a development tool. But the first step is always becoming aware of your own self – your body speak.
One of the best examples for obvious body language signals is the finger drumming and, alternatively, shaking of one or both of the legs, which clearly express anxiety. I remember pointing this out to people who’d always say: “No, that’s just something I’ve been doing all my life. It’s natural.” Of course it’s natural! Although, it’s quite worrying if you’ve been doing it all your life, because that means you are a highly stressed individual. The lesson this taught me, that is, the lesson I’m trying to pass on to you now is that the sooner you understand your own body signals, the better.
In any case, most common places you notice this kind of behaviour are classrooms and hospitals. Aside from finger drumming and shaking of the legs, you must regularly notice or engage in foot/toe tapping. Now, this tapping has more than one meaning but all of them signal some sort of anxiety. You engage in it if you are anxious to move, say something or get someone’s attention. In each case, you are time pressured and your feet tell that to the world.
Your homework in regard to these signals is to pay attention to people in banks or on bus stops. Soon, you will notice them everywhere and, more importantly, notice yourself doing the same.
Another thing you have undeniably noticed is the way people stand. You see people standing all around – waiting their turn in a queue, waiting for a bus, waiting for somebody on the corner etc. It’s the way they stand that you notice, even if you don’t feel the need to approach the person you see standing. For example, you must be familiar with the slight feeling of threat when you see someone standing with their legs wide apart. This stance makes the body look wider, creating the impression of a powerful and dominant person, confident in themselves to the point of making one feel threatened by their presence. As a contrast, quite often you see students standing in front of the board to answer a teacher’s questions. The body language displayed in such situations is extremely rich, which is why other students stare at the single standing student with rapt attention. In truth, they are doing nothing but picking cues as to what they should or shouldn’t do when their turn comes. By this very behaviour you can see that the need to show and read the language of the body is deeply ingrained in all of us.
As someone who has only recently finished high school, I can say with a certain modicum of conviction that insecurity is the commonest of feelings when one happens to be standing in front of the class. Standing with the feet together makes a person appear smaller and less threatening, therefore less prone to being attacked. It also serves as a sort of protection to the genitals. The position’s increased meaning is achieved by fully pressing the knees together and eventually turning a bit to the side. Furthermore, crossed legs can signal similar anxiety or a wish to leave. When this stance is accompanied by hands held behind the back and a slight lowering of the head, it can indicate shyness, submission or being coy. Most often, if you observe the behaviour of students in front of the class, you will see them holding their left elbow with their right hand or vice versa. This is another natural reaction to feeling insecure or upset, and it represents a mimic of the way mothers hold their children. In this position the shoulders of a person are bent inwards in attempt to remove attention from them by making themselves seem small and insignificant.
Humans are courteous creatures, using charm and various abilities to attract the attention or sympathy from others. The attraction – rejection game between people has been going on since the moment people started living in groups and building their social survival skills. It is also frequently seen in pairs courting one another. This is why the movement of the legs when two or more people stand conversing may indeed tell a lot about how people feel about their companions. For instance, moving a step forward is a sign of interest, while moving backward is a sign of disinterest. However, in some cases, moving forward, then backward, clearly means an invitation for a chase. So, boys and girls, pay attention to the movement of your legs and feet next time you’re talking to someone who piques your interest.
The movements of the feet are probably among the most interesting when it comes to sharing impressions and feelings. They say plenty about your interest in someone as well as intended directions of movement. When you stand across from a person that you like you’ll notice that your feet are firmly pointed in their direction. Then again, when you stand across from someone who makes you feel bored, your feet will either point to someone more interesting or to the exit from the room.
Feet angled inward can signalize several states of mind: awkwardness, introspection or a defensive stance. On the other hand, feet angled outward can signalize a move prefacing a departure or a “ready-to-attack” stance. The mindset is the following: the firmer the feet on the ground, the readier the body. Then, curling the feet around an object indicates strong feelings: excitement, frustration or even fear. Knowing this, I believe that paying attention to the lower half of the body can give a rare insight, far more than analyzing crossed arms or facial expressions, both of which are easily concealed. That is not to say that controlling of the lower extremities is impossible, however, as Mr and Mrs Pease say in their Definitive Book of Body Language: “The farther away from the brain a body part is positioned, the less awareness we have of what it is doing.” Until next time!
Kathy
Volunteers Centre Skopje
