Facebook detox
How do you communicate with your friends?
I have my mobile so we text each other or just call (yes, I use the primary function of a phone).
How do you remember birthdays?
I mark the dates in my calender which is hanging right obove my desk and additionally in the calendar on my mobile.
How do you have a social life?
I go out and meet people in pubs and cafés, get to know them better and enjoy their company.
I've been a Facebook user since 2008. At the beginning I wasn't actually logged in so often mainly because 9 years ago Facebook was not that popular as it is now. So the moment this huge Facebook craze came, I was also affected by it. And at that time evrything was perfect - being connected with people whom I met during exchanges, trips and workshops I attended, sharing photos, statuses, favourite songs and of course seeing other Facebook users' profiles. I downloaded facebook app on evry device I had - my mobile, my computer and my tablet. At some point I was checking the main wall even if I hadn't received any notifications. Just scrolling down for at least a few minutes... watching posts which I wasn't even interested in... Now I realize what incredible amount of time I wasted updating my statuses, organizing my photo albums... Accepting people's friend requests even though with some of them I have never had a closer contact. I 'lived' my life rather online than in real life... So finally I said 'no', enough. No more time wasted on facebook. I logged in and tried to find the "delete" bottom but I only found "deactivatate" one (deactivating isn't the same as deleting). So finally, after checking the settings, I clicked the buttom and... I received an email:
Hi Beata,
We have received a request to permanently delete your account. Your account has been deactivated from the site and will be permanently deleted within 14 days. If you did not request to permanently delete your account, please login to Facebook to cancel this request.
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
Facebook doesn't give up so fast. It gave me 2 weeks to change my mind. So kind, isn't it? Unfortunatelly, I didn't change my mind. I am no longer a Facebook user and I am completely comfortable and happy with it. I am in contact with the people who are important for me therefore deleting Facebook hasn't changed a thing. Whenever I need to ask them something or they need my help, I send them a message or an email. Instead of checking their status I can have a face to face conversation and get the stories directly from them. If people really care about you, they’ll make an effort. It means so much when people find the time, sometimes even change their own plans just to meet you. Maybe this year I will not receive as many birthday wishes as I would if I had Facebook, but the ones I get will be genuine.
Living a "facebookless" live also gave me the possibility to improve my communication skills. Isn't seeing the person, his/her face expression and body language, hearing his/her vioce more pleasant than just typing "empty" messages to each other? The ability to communicate in this digitalised world is a precious yet difficult skill. I have the feeling that on Facebook we want people to seen who is our “friend,” or if we are “in a relationship,” or (more exciting for the stalkers) “it’s complicated”... Some things are not aimed to be shared with everyone, are they? Do some people really have to post an ultrasound of their unborn child or how many bottles of beer they have drunk last night? Once you post a photo or video, it stays there forever even if you delete it. Choose wisely because Facebook is the best source of informatioan and the perfect source for rumors. You might not be directly involved in something, yet it might cause negative feelings. So much drama! Drama which no longer affects me!
"You're not on Facebook?? Why?? How you stay updated? Everone is on Facebook! Is everything fine?" some people asked me. Well, actually I am perfectly fine, it's good not to be 'everyone'. I am a spontaneous and extroverted person. I like meeting new people. Getting to know them on a personal level is the most beautiful gift you can receive from yourself. Not checking his/her profile gives you the opportunity to know the person just the way they are - without building your opinion on the likes s/he gives. Where is the excitement of getting to know something new about the person if you alredy know all the things because you have checked their wall?
Time is the most valuable gift ever. I want to have a walk with my boyfriend on a sunny day, to grab a coffee and talk with a friend, to write a letter to my Parents and to enjoy all the small things in my life. Of course, I can do all those things and at the same time have my Facebook account but I simply don't want to waste my time on it, not even a minute! It's okey if you don't agree with me, it's even okey if you consider me a crazy girl. If Facebook makes you happy, stay connected. If you feel something is wrong, try to have a break, e.g. deactivating your account. Whatever you decide, just remeber:
"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure. Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back."
Beata Jaranowska
